Don't pick up!
May I offer a suggestion? Thanks.
Okay. First thing is to ask yourself, "Why am I here?" Then break it down further.
Why am I here? Because I want to stop drinking. Why do I want to stop drinking? Because I do dumb things, I neglect myself, I hurt people, I hurt myself, I can't remember what I did, my health is deteriorating, I am in legal trouble, my wife is fed up with my drinking, my dog gets pissed at me when I'm drunk, the neighbors keep their children inside when I am outside drunk, I lost my job, I am neglecting taking care of my personal appearance, my yard is the only one in the neighborhood that doesn't have grass growing, I vomit when I drink, I can't function for a few days after I pour a half gallon of vodka down my throat, my family 'hates' me, I'm a loser (real or unreal) ETC.
First thing is to discover why and accept that these reasons will not change until you become sober.
That a good place to start.