honestly, look at it like this: the pleasure/euphoria is long gone. It is fleeting now at best and will never come back. This is the nature of alcoholism. What we are left with is the memory of what it might have been in the beginning. It is now only pain, suffering, anxiety, depression and regret.
So, let go of the illusions. It was so hard for me to finally get to this point! I'm glad you have!
Love from Lenina