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Old 04-04-2015, 09:24 PM
  # 40 (permalink)  
FindingPeace1
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: rural west
Posts: 1,375
I find this thread really helpful.

We used to hang out in the bar in college. Everyone seemed to hang out in the bar. But in truth, my dad was a profound functioning alcoholic, so it it didn't occur to me as something to question.
When he said he was interested and I said I didn't want to date a smoker, I thought I was so self actualized. Then he insisted he was quitting anyway and I believed him. Even when he smoked in secret and lied about it. Even when I knew deep down, and he denied it, and I believed him over myself. Even when I caught him at it and he cried his eyes out and I stayed with him.
I didn't believe it was a problem when I discovered an empty beer bottle in his truck cab and he insisted it was from taking the recycling out (he always took recycling in the back, not in the cab.
I didn't believe it when I found his alcohol stash in the garage with his tools and he said there was no more space in the pantry.
I didn't believe it when I would wake in the night and I would find him awake drinking wine.
I didn't believe it when he'd quietly set his wine glass down on the ground, out of my sight, when I walked into the room.
I just DID'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT. Really, really a lot, apparently.
It took quite a bit to get me to see.
Later, his mother (a recovering alcoholic) told me she had known about my XAH for years.

The red flags were all there.
It was me that refused to look at them.
Some part of me knew all along.

That is, pardon the pun, quite sobering.
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