PAINLESS66

Made it through my first full year yet it feels like yesterday i was in the arms of the only women I ever truly loved. In the beginning i got clean to prove to her that i could be clean. I got clean for all the wrong reasons until one day I realized i had to get clean for myself. When that day came i had so much less stress about staying clean. not sure what happened or why it happened but i had to stay clean for myself first and foremost. LOve... what is love and why does it hurt so much even after a full year has past? theres not a single day that passes where I dont think about this women and how i know in my heart that if i were ever given a second chance that i would love and honor her all the remaining days of my life. if she loved me back then before i screwed up then she would love me even more now that im clean and that im doing all I can to make myself a better man day by day. Im in culinary arts school now training to become a chef. im in the top of my class and to myself im the best up and coming chef that i personally know of. next to tattooing i love cooking. i need advice people... how do i try and get back inot he life of the only woman i truly ever loved? id be happy just being her friend again to start. im not a stalker. i havent once even looked at her fb page on anyone elses computer. i her her terribly and i just want her to see that back then it wasnt the real me. i just want a second chance to prove to her that i am good for her. i would do anything to have that chance... im so lost.... im looking forward to another year clean and sober. ive had so many stressful events in my life this past year that made me want to use just to knumb the outside world... i take my problems head on and i dont mask the pain coming my way. i greet it head on and i handle it. tt... please... just email me and let me know if we have a second chance... im the man you need,,,