Thank you everyone! Means a lot to read your replies! I have never ever posted anything about being sober anywhere.
The deal is my wife wants to party this last year before trying for another child at the end of this year. Her reasoning is that the next time we will be able to go out will be when we are in our forties. I made the decision to attend events as a partier not as a musician and I did not want to have her go alone and get arrested. Thankfully we have no more plans like that.
As a musician I have no problems going to the gig and playing sober and heading home afterwards. In fact 90% of the gigs in the past year I have done just that.
I really don't mix my faith with my alcohol addiction, I simply do not agree with some of the 12 steps. You might say oh this guy still smokes pot so he is not truly sober and believe that it is a gateway drug. For me it's not and I'm sorry I am not in denial. For me that keeps me off alcohol. I am not getting stoned all day every day. I use it when needed only.
For most people I agree it could be a gateway drug to let's go out and get blasted. And I understand completely where you guys are coming from. But it is what actually works for me. My problem is with binge drinking. If I didn't drink I wouldn't do drugs ever. Don't think I have ever done drugs not drunk. For me using medical marijuana and getting drunk and lit are completely different things on opposite ends of the universe. Using marijuana medicinally to me is not getting messed up. For me the actual buzz only lasts 15 mins and that is the part I like least. Taking two puffs gives me almost an entire day of relief. For example when we got to Miami I got some weed. But as soon as we scored hard drugs I never touched it once and it was very very good. I ended up flushing it. If I had smoked it might have saved me from drinking.
I'm sure that sounds crazy to almost all of you.
Anyways you guys are awesome, and thank you!