Wow....This story is almost exactly like reading about myself. Good on you for realizing the problems that alcohol is causing you in both your personal and professional life as a musician. I used to think that the whole party scene and getting super wasted was actually beneficial to my musicianship. How wrong I was. I now know how eventually it saps every bit of drive, creativity and self respect out of me. I too have given up the booze a thousand times but always end up relapsing. And every time is worse. It has cost me every bit of credibility I ever had as a musician. I am currently giving sobriety another shot ( on day 9 ) after a particularly horrible night last week, and to me just may have been my rock bottom. I am still cringing whilst writing this. I know that if I don't get off the booze completely then it is going to totally bring me down to places I really don't want to go....or kill me. Good luck with it all. ...and I wish you all the best.