Mine was sober for many years when we met. He relapsed close to a year after we moved in together. Relapse was short but very stressful for me.
He has been on chronic pain meds for 13 years. He was abusing them around the time of relapse but hasn't since. Last year he decided he did not want to be on them anymore. He has worked diligently with his doctor to get off of them. It was 4 months of living with an a**hole. Aside from his relapse with alcohol that was the first time in a long time I considered throwing in the towel. It had all become too much. Now he is good, really good. It will be about 4 more months before he is completely off them I am not anticipating more personality issues as the past two months of reduction have gone smoothly.
Couple things about this whole experience. I knew nothing about what I was getting myself into. I suppose I viewed addiction like getting a cut that needs stitches - if you have a problem you just go and take care of it. HAHA on me. For all the hell it has been at times I like myself better and REALLY appreciate the knowledge I have gotten out of Al Anon and SR for MY problems that were many. I have a very good relationship with my husband, the best I have ever had for all the problems we have (so far) overcome, he is an amazing person.
I wouldn't advise anyone to ever, ever become involved with someone with issues of this nature. The risk factor is way too high. While possible to recover, I do believe it is few that accomplish it for a lifetime. And of course lifetime is a key word, I am also aware that RAH could fall off the wagon 1 year or 20 years from now. I will get off at that stop if so.