The PTSD was hard to control at first. I would wake up in sweats, jaw in pain from clenching it so tight, flash backs by the thousands. It took about 5 years of counseling with my "Little Jewish Grandmother" (Her words). She had a heart as big as the sky and the demeanor of a rattle snake that had been kicked. Unfortunately she has passed on so dealing with my brothers loss has been a little rough.
Through the loss of my brother came a huge surprise and support. I had lost touch with the girl who I had always considered the "Love of My Life". She has contacted me and has turned into a wonderful source of support. She is also responsible for my sitting here typing this story. It is so nice to have a person who you can just tell everything to and not fear judgement. Thanks to her. She knows who she is.
The biggest trick was keeping from going back to the bottle after the shooting and the loss of my brother. They say one day at a time, well I truly believe the it got down to 1 milisecond at a time.
I don't know what will come of this posting but if I can be of any help to anyone by telling my story, it was worth it.
There is a post script: The reason for the reference to the Badge number is it probably saved my life. The young man who shot me hit the Badge and just about tore it in half, deflecting the bullet away from vital stuff and into my shoulder.
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