He was an alcoholic long before we got together. I had no idea exactly what that meant, to my knowledge, I had never really been around an alcoholic before. I just knew he "drank way more than I would like in a partner."
We were best friends for 4 years because I wouldn't date him, because he drank too much. Epic fishing / camping / travel buddies for 4 years after being acquaintances for 6 years before that. Our 'kids' (we each got puppies at the same time) became best friends too.
Dear blissfully ignorant (like myself) friends kept mentioning that he would probably settle down once he had a girlfriend. We grew to love each other as best friends do. Aside from some dates, I had been single for those 4 years...and I got lonely. I thought, well, if he doesn't chill out on drinking, I can just break up and we'll still be friends.
Famous last words.
Now, together together for 4 years, living together, everything meshed together, all that, he still "drinks more than I would like in a partner." Far more. It took moving in together for me to see exactly how much (which is a moot point now that I've learned that if I think it's too much, it just is). It took finding this place to learn what it all meant. For him and for me.
I'm so glad this thread was resurrected. Just when I start heading to the other side of the street, here y'all are to remind me of my responsibility. (((HUGS)))