If you think that you're in an abusive relationship, then you probably are. Abused spouses are "taught" by their abuser to believe that what's really going on is not the truth, as well as their feelings attached to their abuse. They're also taught that the abuser's problems are their fault. Having to ask permission to spend money is a red flag for abuse, an attempt at limiting one's partner's movements and activities, and ultimately isolating them from the help they need. Or worse (for the abuser), finding someone who validates the abuse.
None of us knows what you are going through at home, but it can't hurt to get some help. I would never pressure you to do anything you don't want to do, but it's possible that talking about both your struggles with alcohol and the abuse at home here on SR could be helpful. There's also a Friends and Family section that might work for you.