Marathon, I believe in you. I know it hurts to be sober, but believe me, it can be worked out and then the hurting stops. Seriously. Make it happen, friend. We all had to start somewhere in the nightmare to end it. We can't wait for the rainbow to appear before we act. I wish I had something better, I just don't. Life hurts like hell sometimes. We do our best, and know we're standing on the shoulders of giants before us. Believe in yourself, and you'll do right by it. Your a good man, Marathon.