so i found the line i knew i was soooo close to. to finally find the words to honor my feelings is so empowering. we had another heated arguement and i shouldnt have engaged while he was drinking, but heck it helped me find the line. ive realized i really only have 2 choices as it stands- put up with his hurtful behaviors, or tell him he can only live here sobor. and that gives him 2 choices - get sobor or leave. But ive decided i will not support someone who hurts my feelings, gets mad when i point it out, blames me for the conflict and never apologizes or is accountable. yup there is the line.