I recently finally decided to boot my AH out of the house.
Why?
Because I have tried allowing him to detox at home, thinking the same thing-that it's safer, more supportive & that he would be more likely to stay clean with that support & security.
He has continued to mess up in various ways, so he is no longer living with us. It is hard. Very, very hard. I know he loves our 5month old son very much but even that isn't a good enough incentive for him to put someone else before his addiction/himself.
I have had to learn & put into action the concept that no one can cure him, change him or cause him to do ANYTHING-good or bad. If he is going to get clean & stay clean, it will have to come from him. So even though he's not living with us, if he does choose to use again or whatever, that's on him, not on me.
Some days are easier than others. Yesterday was fun. I left the house, hung out with a friend all day & had a good time.
Today sucks.
That's just how it is going to go, I guess. I may never know what he chooses to do, if he chooses to not contact me again. I haven't heard from him in several days now.
There is nothing I can do about that. And that's just the way it is, so I need to keep moving for my son's sake, just like you need to keep moving for yours & your daughter's sake.
YOU HAVE NOT FAILED YOUR BOYFRIEND. He is failing himself.
Big huge hugs.