Your situation reminds me of when I was a kid, brought up in a very abusive situation. I remember one day seeing my mother standing at the top of the stairs with a rifle pointing it at my father who was going up the stares to beat her up again. She was already a mess, her dress all torn up from his beating her up earlier. He stopped dead in his tracks, and walked out of the house. It was a long time ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. They divorced soon after.
My mother never finished high school, but managed to find low paying jobs to support us three kids. She got little financial support from my father. To this day, I don't know how she found the courage to do this, but I guess she reached a point where she just couldn't put up with it anymore.
Your situation sounds worse because drinking wasn't a factor in all of this, but you also have the advantage of knowing you should get a good financial settlement once everything is settled.
I really hope you find a way out of the hell your dealing with. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does. John