Jorgenss,
please do not doubt yourself. You did what was right. Mourning is a natural process that you will walk thru. Each step is part of healing. Breaking down (tears) are the body's way of shedding emotion. When the storm passes you find that you are stronger and able to face another day.
When I pray, I ask for strength.
There is someone out there, perfect for you. Not someone who needs you to help them, save them, babysit or be lost in. Someone who loves you, does not 'take' from a relationship. They don't make constant withdrawals.
None of us can paint your future but I can tell you - I wasted so much of mine - 'helping' ... that I missed a lot of what I will never know could have been. I was married to a man who became an alcoholic. 21 years until I divorced him. I built a good life for myself and my daughters. I met my bf 3 yrs ago. He became involved with heroin a month after that. He passed away this month. My ex husband passed away this month. Buried them both. I have some great memories, but that's all they are now. I'm not sure what the moral of the story may be but I must go on without them both.
Mourning is all the same. Do it now or do it later ... Out of concern for you, I pray that you do it 'now'. Hugs and hope for you my friend.