thanks patman, I have some savings so could feasible scrap through 6 months remaining here but I'm self employed so that comes with it's own set of worries i.e security of work coming in. As I said, pretty resentful at the moment and worried that spending all my savings on rent some we could visit would only fuel that. Also concerned about situation post rehab - she coming out with no job, me with not much work and diminished savings - what then. She says I'm negative, I say I'm realistic. Fact is I have got used to dealing with worse case scenarios lately. The lure of help and support with my son is the most significant draw to heading closer to my family. I value your advice, thanks