Dear Katie, I have also felt this way, in terms of really looking at the actions and how they affect others. JJ took advantage of his girlfriend to the point of leaving her stranded on the day they needed to move out of their room with no help. He is really a stranger to me. I am "okay" with him when he is in recovery, but when he is actively using, there is a huge fear and loathing when I see him. Just be with where you are. I pray your son does get arrested and realizes when he comes down just where his actions have left him.
Hugs,
TT