well I never really thought I had a problem until just recently. I always thought I could control it or get around it somehow. I really never drank until about a year ago when I met this guy who was (at one point) the most amazing thing in my life. he was an intense alcoholic and we would drink EVERY night. literally till the point we were both blacked out and wake up the next morning doing it all again. I ended up getting a DUI (inevitable I guess with the way we were drinking) and put on a year of probation, counseling etc. 4 UA's a month weren't even enough to stop me from chasing my problems away so we switched to other drugs that weren't as detectable for as long. worst mistake. it fueled my addiction 10 fold. instead of drinking I started using crystal meth for the last 6 months.
long story short, our relationship became rocky about a month ago and I moved back in with my mother (also a long time alcoholic) now without the access to other drugs I have unlimited daily access to alcohol so I found myself back in the throes of alcoholism. drinking daily before work. bottles every night. now I'm failing my drug tests for alcohol which stays in the system for at least 5 days and I have no other option but to quit EVERYTHING ALTOGETHER, or go back in front of the judge and face prison time. I choose to quit. its only been a few days bit I'm struggling especially having so much access to it. and being so lonely here without "him" (even though he was such a bad influence on me) has been horrendously hard.
sorry for the long rant just wanted to kinda get my story out there and find some support from others who might be struggling with the same type of addiction. I'll spend my time reading on the forum especially about coping mechanisms for when these horrible crystal cravings hit.