Dear Mamaof3boyz,
First of all, I am so sorry about your miscarriage of your baby daughter. I am so sorry that you have this put upon your plate, especially at a time like this. I hope you have some support from family or friends right now, for this terrible loss.
Actions speak volumes. He needs to make all the right choices, as to getting clean and getting treatment. They lie to cover and minimize , so don't be surprised if it has been happening longer than he says.
You will hear that you did not cause it, cannot control it, and cannot cure it. the three C's. It is his alone to fix. Your part in this is to take care of yourself and your children. Him driving the children while using shows that you cannot trust him.. cannot trust an addict to make safe choices.
Others who have been in your shoes (and they are many) will be along to listen and share their stories, and of what worked for them, and what to expect.
Until then, please keep you and the boys safe. Protect your finances, and personal treasures... you cannot imagine how a desperate addict can steal /sell precious things belonging to those they love.
Read the stickies at the top of this page, to get more understanding, and to be as prepared as you can. If you can find a face to face meeting, for families of addicts, it would probably help you a lot. I am sure you could use some good strong support right now.
keep posting. SR is a great place to find help.
chicory