mishelly

I think it's just cause I'm that darn stubborn! Seriously, it's a little of both. I am very stubborn and I hit meetings five/six nights a week and have a wonderful home group and sponsor.

But I also have a secret weapon against this disease...when I get that overwhelming urge to drink/use, and trust me I get them a lot (I'm only 25 days sober) I have a very powerful memory to pull out and use against the craving.

You see, in April I went to the Sprintime in the Ozarks AA convention down in Eureka Springs Arkansas. Can you imagine the spiritual power of almost three thousand people saying the Serenity Prayer together? Awesome. Anyway, there was a lady, 70+ years old who spoke at one of the meetings. She had an alcoholics horror story you wouldn't believe, but she also had something like 37 years of sobriety...near the end of her story she talked about how her alcoholism had caused the death of two of her children. One was born with alcohol poisoning and the other got sick, the alcoholic mother was too busy getting drunk to take care of the the child and it ended up dying from the illness. Totally heartbreaking story and there was not a dry eye in the place.

How had this woman faced that harsh reality, come to grips with it and been able to recover from her disease and to maintain that recovery for all of those 37 years? That is beyond me, but it makes all the problems I face seem like nothing in comparison. On the way home I told one of my dear friends that, after hearing that story, I couldn't come up with one valid excuse to get drunk or use drugs again, ever. That was a turning point for me and I haven't looked back since, I can't or my disease might catch up with me again.

I hope this all makes sense to you...I can not begin to explain what a spiritual, powerful experience that convention, and particularly that speaker, was for me. If any of ya'll ever get a chance to hit a convention, I highly recommend it...