Hi iPaid.
I can relate to the weird feeling of losing-your-identity, it causes me great anxiety. But this is what I tell myself:
-My problems didn't go away when I stopped drinking - and without the booze haze I have to face them more honestly. It helps to remind myself that "it's not easy, but it's certainly easier than it was." That helps sometimes.
-Also, remember this: our brains aren't fully developed until we're closer to 26/27. That's a lot of identity buidling before we can truly say "this is who I am" - and even then, it's naive to think of outselves as static in that way. We (the real "me") is constantly changing.
-Most importantly: how real is the "real you" if that person was under the influence?
Alcohol and all substances hide us from ourselves. Facing our selves honestly without the haze is difficult, but it's authentic.
Alcohol was never part of our identity, it may have enhanced or inhibited parts of us but underneath that there's a complete YOU.
You have to reconnect with that person, re-acquaint yourself with your genuine voice inside3 that isn't drowned out or deafened by booze - and you have to make friends with her because you're going to live with her forever.
Remember, you take yourself with you wherever you are.
Love
xxx