clear Mind,
Interesting post! In my case, I grew up in a volatile 2 parent household. My parents were not happy with each other & had no outlet for their pain. My mother took her pain & frustration out on me & my sister, my older brother was always a saint.
I look back now and see how I have always had an addictive personality. It started withe being a love addict, then a serial monogamous (always in a relationship, never alone), then weed, then alcohol. I never was a drinker & hated alcohol, until I started dating my husband. I knew he had an alcohol problem but I was arrogant enough to think it wouldn't affect me. I started binge drinking with my husband on weekends, then we got married & started living together - my drinking escalated to every night.
I look back now & can understand my addictive personality. It all boils down to wanting to be accepted & loved. When you grow up with a mother who verbally, emotionally, & physcially abuses you - you want acceptance. My father was emotionally abusive & emotionally unavailable. So I would morph myself into the person I think my partner wants - even if it meant drinking msyelf into a stupor.