Cart and white knuckles
Hi all,
Sorry for the title it's AVRT and white knuckles
For all experienced in AVRT I have a question, did you ever felt the vertigo effect?
The state were you know that you already made the decision to act on addiction and you feel there is no turning back? This state seems to happen when you are in debate whether to do it or not aka white knuckling and the beast captures your thinking of the rational mind? What did you exactly to recognize the beast and av and how were you feeling?
In my case I felt:
1. Rapid heart beat
2. Warm feeling passing trough my face followed by aaaaaahhhhh!!!! Its good = about talk
3. Thinking everything, completely under control on what to think and do to get the stuff, except having second thoughts about giving up.
4. When almost consumating the act, very small thoughts like this is wrong, I'm doomed, here I go again, I can't believe this, like if we are trying to say excuses so we can do it without having guilt feelings after. Even if we know we will feel guilt anyway?
If you got all this feelings and reactions, what mind AVRT trick did you used to get out of it?
Did you try to ignore it? If so how? Did you recognize it has an illusion and the symptoms I enumerated vanished? Or did you felt control and the symptoms were still there?
The reason I am doing this questions is because I am almost certain that this symptoms are similar on all addictions and the AVRT approach can be applied in the same way. But I appreciate if everyone can share their own experiences, so we all can sharp the AVRT.
Thank you.