I found Under the Influence: A Guide to the Myths and Realities of Alcoholism by James Robert Milam and Katherine Ketcham and Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp to be really helpful.
The first helped me understand how alcohol(ism) functions in the body of an alcoholic. This really helped take away the shame and stigma. This isn't about something "wrong" with me, it's just that my and other alcoholics bodies interact with alcohol differently than most people.
The second book helped me emotionally and spiritually. I related very deeply to Ms. Knapp's experiences, even though our drinking lives were very different. She was able to write out feelings I've had but have never been able to express. I felt understood and less alone. This is the book that made me accept that I was truly an alcoholic, and I could live a new kind of life if I wanted to.
I'm sure both of these are on that list that Coldfusion linked to.