Originally Posted by
freshstart57 
Welcome, EternalLiberty, there is a lot of support here for you. Since you mentioned previous failures at beast recognition, what does it mean to you to 'recognize the AV'? What is 'the beast' to your understanding?
Hi freshstart57,
At first i saw the beast as a real identity that was fighting to kill me, and seeing this was one of the keys that helped me not to act. But as the time passed, i failed manytimes and the beast idea started to fade, like AVRT mentions i was becoming ALL BEAST.
I think recognizing the av is simply being aware that every thought and feeling that supports acting on addiction, comes not from me but from the midbrain.
I can consciouly do that, but i failed anyway. Recognizing seems for me, to be only a memory exercise, but when feelings seems to hijack my brain, i simply fail to recognize it in the sense that i feel in a way i have loosed control, or likey Trimpey says "to hell with it" lets do it. i like it. And it says, "ok, you said YOU like it, not the beast, since its YOU then YOU want it, so go ahead.", and i fail to recognize.
But i think the key of my failures until now is that since i failed many times, i gradually lost the hope and motivation from AVRT and recognition. But then again that loss of hope could be the beast itself...