Thank you all! I know, I need more deep breaths sometimes. I get really overwhelmed with things sometimes. There is also a lot of stress going on in my life that has nothing to do with drinking, so I'm just a little on edge in general. And my husband is very supportive, although he has been before and I know I have to keep up my resolve to keep him understanding that I really want to commit to my sober life, or he will just think it is me being upset from a hangover again. That's not unfair of him as it's not the first time I've quit. But maybe it can be the first time I quit for good.
And, yes, I know I need to do this one day at a time. I'm bad at that also
but I'm going to try to be better. Maybe I will come up with a date when I make a decision by. If I do end up going, I will probably tell my friends something similar to what you said, Lia, antibiotics or another excuse not to drink. It will just be easier.
Thank you again! I'm going to try to calm myself down enough to focus on work for the rest of the day and pop back here when I get home. I appreciate all the support and advice.