Hi betterthiings.
Welcome to SR
I
really relate to your post. Everything looking
relatively shiny and successful on the surface, but very dark in my own (secret) reality... Just like you, I also admitted to myself clearly that I had a serious drinking problem about 6 years before I truly did something about it. I also sometimes took stimulants to be able to stand up to my demanding work schedules in some periods, and sometimes they really messed with me especially mixed with alcohol.
I quit drinking just a little before I turned 40 (close to 14 months now) and I would never go back to my old ways for anything. Do it now, it's a perfect time, before any significant losses would occur. I've pretty much found the solution to my drinking problem via SR, give it a chance!