Aellyce

Glad to hear your sister was in good spirits.

I have some thought on this, may or may not be appropriate for her.
From your description, it sounds like she's an independent woman who likes to show her strength and competence to the world and in hear dealings with difficult situations. And likes to deal with her *** alone. Takes the role of the strong person helping and protecting others, carrying them with her strength, rather than focusing much on her own vulnerabilities (a lot of which she may be repressing, so not surprising that bringing these to her attention typically meets resistance). If this rings true, it might not be that surprising that she becomes hysterical when others (especially others close to her) are in uncertain or otherwise trying situations. I think someone who is used to, and likes, being in control of her life, being on the top of her life, and is used to being very decisive, may perceive subjectively these "outer" things more outside of her control, especially when it comes to unpredictable events such as the illness of people who mean a lot to her.

The thing about being calm in crisis situations... I could tell you a lot about that because I am very much like that. For me the only thing that could turn this upside down was being deep in the worst of my alcoholism. And because of this feature, I actually often enjoy being in crisis situations... not looking forward to them, but once I'm in it. No idea about your sis, but for me this has to do with facing own challenges and problem solving being very much my nature, and actually very stimulating in a positive way. It can be quite weird for me being in the middle of unexpected problems or crises, and a really curious mental state. It's like there is typically an initial brief period of shock and confusion, but then quickly my mind becomes crystal clear, and I can think and act with such clarity and focus that surprised many people in my life on multiple occasions. It's really my problem solving spirit kicking in strong. Sudden acute crises are definitely not the times for me to break down... that can come as the result of a process, if things don't work out in the longer run despite my efforts, especially when I perceive the "cause" as my own mistake. This may be part of the reason why I could use "negative reinforcement" to resolve my alcohol problem before it really took a lot of things from me... I just could not deal with the guilt anymore, not so much about myself but how my actions affected others and the "world" I've built with what I perceived as my positive qualities. Again, if there is any similarity, I totally get why your your sister was devastated when she got laid off from that job, but why she would not want to show it even with a close relative. It's not so much about failure per se for me... more an attachment issue: attachment to a role and to what I perceive as my "creations". Hard to let go of all that, but once there is another opportunity and space/time to do it again, or do it in a different form (new job, etc), the old stuff is only history and lessons and it's not hard to move on at all. This whole mental/behavioral construct is also very much a control issue for me. And difficulties with revealing vulnerability, sometimes even to myself. Yeah, the calmness is an interesting one for sure. There is also what ImperfectlyMe mentioned about surrender, although I would be surprised if that happens to someone with the features you described for your sis, so suddenly.

They will probably need to do a few more tests on Mary Ann to determine the nature of the tumor and to provide a prognosis and treatment plan. I think that she is very lucky to have you as her brother. Don't forget to take care of you as well, but I don't think you usually do these days

Hugs to you again; let us know how things unfold if you feel it's helpful to talk about it here.