Hi all,
Great to see some activity here.
Lady - Loved the pictures of your baby on FB. She is getting so big! I didn't let breastfeeding stop me from drinking with my last baby. When she was 2 months, I had my first drink, and did the whole waiting for my blood alcohol level to return to normal before breastfeeding again. But soon enough, I was breastfeeding after a few beers. I read a lot about it at the time, and found plenty of evidence to justify my actions. It was dangerous. And I still believe most of what I read - the alcohol content of my breastmilk wasn't the most dangerous thing- it was my competency to be sleeping with and nursing a baby. I often wonder if her delay in speech is my fault. I don't dwell on it - she's perfectly above average in all other ways, but it's a guilt I live with. And also, knowing that it's likely she'll be my last baby, I feel terrible guilt at not soaking it all up, but instead, escaping with my nightly drinks. That's a much bigger regret that I haven't forgiven myself for.
I don't have any advice about the preschool drop-off issue. Do the teachers say she keeps crying after you leave? I leave my youngest in a child-watch when I work out, and she sometimes cries, but I peek back in literally 1 minute later, and she's fine. I wonder, though, what's changed for your daughter. Could just be a growth spurt of sorts. I know my oldest would sometimes go through these spurts of big independence followed by what seemed like regression back to a baby, but in retrospect, you could see it was all part of the same growth spurt.
And no...not my month. I was pretty sad about it. Timing was perfect, cycle seemed healthy. We're not very young anymore. I never thought I'd be desperate for a baby at my age... my youngest will be going to pre-school next year, and part of me wonders if I even really want to do it again, or if I'm just stubborn and refuse to give up on an old dream.
Dolly - how are you doing with things at home? I'm sorry you had that dream. Dreams can hold onto you in a weird way... I had a dream last night that I had another baby and she was in the NICU, and I woke up feeling really unsettled, and it didn't really go away. And for your dream to mimic your old real life. Ugh.... I hope you and hubby are figuring things out - in whatever way is best for you. Are you still dieting or are you at your goal weight?
Jen - Welcome! I'm mom to 2 girls, ages nearly 3 (2 weeks!) and 5.5. I'm 20 months sober, and like Dolly said, it's been worth every struggle. Especially because after awhile, it's not really a struggle. Would I still love to have a margarita? Yes. But it doesn't nag me like it used to. I feel much more in balance in my life, and lots of my anxiety, which initially peaked when I quit drinking, has gone away.
Babs - thinking of you! I hope all is well.
We had a good trip to Florida - the warm weather was a fantastic break from this awful cold. I've been eating like I plan to hibernate, and haven't hit the gym much. The weather is really getting me down, along with some strange aches and pains in my legs. I really do feel old. I've been grappling with that since my husband's mom died. I feel confused about what my life should be like right now. Like, I see all these people my age who really seem to have it together, and I don't feel like I do. I guess I do, but I just can't convince myself. Or, I'll think - maybe we should move, start new, live life like we used to when we were young and carefree. And THAT is definitely mid-life crisis thinking! (And technically, I might be midlife, at 37!). I feel like lots of my life is waiting for the next stage, like "When E is in Kindergarten, I'll feel more balance." And that's not a good way to live. I want to appreciate all the moments - or at least, all the stages. Life goes so slow some days, and so fast over the years.