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Old 02-27-2015, 01:11 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Aellyce
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Davey, besides the things that were mentioned on this thread, I think it's also good to consider that people can have many different interests and commitments, and sometimes get busy with other things for a while. I think most of us in early recovery are quite desperate and restless, wanting to cling onto something or someone. I certainly did (here on SR). Many of us really crave attention, and get anxious and uneasy when it's taken away or interrupted for a while. Start imagining all sorts of scenarios about our friends and supporters, that perhaps they got mad at us, or bored, or whatever. But attention is just not sustainable continuously, without breaks and with all the many things we have ongoing in our lives, in healthy relationships.

I would just leave him alone for a while an try to find the support you need elsewhere... here on SR, in meetings, anything else you can come up with. Then if no contact for a longer period of time, maybe ask if there is a reason for it, try to talk about it.

Thinking too much about what others are thinking and doing can drive us crazy really. This is only one reason why it's good to have a support system that consists of a variety of sources so we won't overwhelm one or a few people all the time. I'm talking from experience here, have been on both sides of the construct, and both can be challenging. Again, remember that friendships just need separate space and time (and downtime) just as much as we need attention and connection. Not even doctors, AA sponsors, parents, spouses (etc etc) can be available at all times simply because we are not machines. It really does not necessarily mean that there is any problem in the relationship or they doubt you! I've personally had a few pretty close, mutually curious, supportive and valuable "recovery connections" and friendships, and they all tend to be somewhat cyclical. Periods of intense communication with periods of silence. It does not mean rejection!
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