Terp, as far as the housekeeping goes, I would sit him down and tell him that you are overwhelmed and feel as though dealing with everything while doing all the work is just too much for you. Make an actual list of who is responsible for what. This was recommended to me by a counselor years ago when I was married. I am not now, but I do have the same type of thing with my children. They are on the list, but I am too! It has helped as a messy house gives me anxiety!
AS far as him drinking and sitting at the bar, there is not much you can do. This is for him to figure out. I understand it freaks you out, but go back to the basics and all you have learned. You know that your sitting home worried will not influence if he drinks or not. It's good that he has been open and said he does not drink. I am not a big drinker. I have sat at the bar with others that I work with and not drank at all. It did not bother me, but I am not an alcoholic either.
Big hugs to you! XXX