1.) the bar thing. As the one in recovery I "get" where your husband is at. You don't fully realize how prevalent alcohol is in society until you quit. That said given the astronomically high relapse rates, you read about them here EVERY day and there is rarely a day that passes in my recovery group you don't read about another one. You have every right to be concerned. I'd just be honest with your hubbie and accept your concerns as valid. I've yapped about this on and on here but every single time someone in outpatient rehab asked how long it was going to take their s/o to trust them they were given the unscientific answer count on taking at least one year for each year you were addicted.
2.) Glad you liked the recommendation. My biggest issues with boundaries have been within my marriage but frankly they do extend beyond my marriage. With housekeeping though you've been given a lot of good advice. I'd be inclined to break it down into small pieces, write a list. Then take that list and sanity check it with friends on your expectations vs what most people would find acceptable. From there take the middle ground and ASK him, don't SUGGEST aka "it would be nice if" to do dishes on Monday/Wednesdays/Thursdays, etc. Then if he doesn't agree to those things you let him know that you'll do something like put all of the dishes in his closet, etc. There may be things that most people aren't bothered by but you are. For those do them yourself and do the ole "agree to disagree." I had a college roommate who had high housecleaning standards. I remember her going OFF one time after moving in because we didn't clean behind the refrigerator. Since college she has lived by herself and I suspect she is much happier that way:-)
I need to give my list of "how to set boundaries" to you guys. I sure need HELP!!!