I don't give a sh!t if a coat hangs on the back of a chair or in a closet. Housecleaning can be a real sticking point and can cause a lot of arguments. Hiring a maid may be the way to go here though I doubt it will alleviate his messiness completely (aka picking up after him). Maybe you guys can come to an agreement about some things - for me leaving food around or dirty dishes is gross. That I won't do and I have done some things RAH has asked such as not cluttering up counter space with my crap. Pick and choose your battles.
Ditto on all that, you and I would make perfect roomates Red.
And as far as eating at the bar, my x was interviewing for a job that was across the street from a bar and the thought of it drove me nuts. Irrational I know, but that was a big part of me needing to end things. I didn't trust him and his conviction to sobriety at all. For good reason to, it didn't stick.