need some help with this
I'm sort of struggling with 2 main issues right now and I could really use your guys esh on this.
#1)RAH is in Chicago right now until next Friday for training. He has 6 months sober and before he left I really had no apprehension. I knew there was nothing I could do to make him drink or not drink there. If he was going to drink, he would and probably wouldn't tell me about it anyway so it didn't matter. Well I'm worried about it now. We have talked on the phone every night pretty much and he tells me how he goes down to the hotel restaurant (where he and fellow trainees sit at the bar) to eat dinner and hang out. He tells me that he has told everyone that he doesn't drink and they are respectful. I'm just like........Ugh........do you have to sit at THE BAR? There really are no other options as far as eating. No one has a car and a shuttle picks them up and drops them off from training every day. I just need to get out of my head and not worry about it anymore. Ideas? I know he a going to drink if he wants to. I know there is nothing I can do to stop it. Why does it terrify me so much?
#2). I'm listening to this audio book entitled "Boundaries" (thanks for the reccomendation cookies!) And I realize how horrible my boundaries are. So here goes: I busted my butt while RAH was in rehab to get my house looking really nice. And it did for a while until RAH stopped cleaning up after himself again. He has never had to do this in his life. His mother cleaned his room for him. The house WILL look nice again, but I am not doing it alone. And I refuse to pick up after him. He needs to he doing it. So what is an appropriate limit to set there that's isn't about him and isn't nagging? I won't pick up after him, but I won't live in filth, either.