Hurt myself this time!
Its been a while since I posted. It was back in January when I professed my commitment to go no contact with my exabf. I am so ashamed to say, I DIDNT!!!!
For the last 6 months I have allowed myself to engage in a dysfunctional, hurtful, and self depricating plutonic relationship with my exabf. The reality is the relationship was no different....it was filled with lies, manipulation, disappointments, infidelity, and unkindness!!! And I allowed myself to get sucked back in!!!
Last week, I got confirmation from his sis n law of his infidelity from day one of our relationship. This person had no idea we were still in contact, and had no idea that my exabf just days before assured me he never lied or cheated!
All those emotions of devastation, humiliation and anger came flooding back on me! How could my exabf hurt me so bad??? and more importantly, how did I let him do it?
He has shown his true character!!! It is so ugly! And I am so the opposite of ugly!! Both his body and soul are poisoned!!!
I saw him one last time since running into his sis n law. I picked my belongings up and said nothing about what she revealed to me. Just a casual goodbye! like always and then I BLOCKED HIM!
I feel like I am at my lowest.....cant eat...cant sleep, sobbing over the hurt!!!!
Oh please, now more than ever...I need help!!!