All I can say is I'm sorry. I was very much at the same point your husband was in the last month leading up to a year of sobriety. I didn't get sober for myself, I got sober for other people. This will carry you only so far. I got "called" on this by my recovery group. I had to do some very serious re-thinking of why I was staying sober since I was told that emotionally I was at HUGE risk for a relapse. I rode it out and changed my thinking and realized that no longer was it for other people it was for ME. I'm finally making more strides having rode over that hump. This information helps you not at all. That said I think that keeping your boundaries in place, reminding him of them, and letting what will happen will happen is the best course of action for you.
Peace,
Cookies