He's going to have a drink
Ah has been sober 6 months but his recovery has stalled. Apparently it's not abnormal to hit a flat spot in recovery. But he's doing stuff all to get himself out of it. Still attending all his sessions etc but that's it. Whatever.
The addiction specialists and rehab he went to don't necessarily work with an 'abstinence forever' model. They tell me 'testing' is very common in recovery. But it's about how you test. Glass of wine with dinner with me very different to. 'I had a crap day so am having a beer by myself'. Knowing why you are having a drink. Ensuring that it's not for an unhealthy or dysfunctional reason.
Anyways he's at the latter point so moot really.
He told me he came really close to having a drink today. It's going to happen.
My reaction? Nothing. No panic. Just...nada. If anything it was relief. Huh??? What's that?
What will be will be. I can't control it. It's not my business.
I'm just so tired. Don't know what I'm looking for here, but one things for sure...this girl ain't purchasing a ticket to ride the crazy train again.