It’s just strange how he was the one who was always causing trouble and the reason we split, I was the one who was always hurt in the relationship and now I’m the one who’s upset that we’ve split up whilst he doesn’t care. Surely it should be the other way around.
Is it selfish to want him to hurt like I am after all the hurt he's caused in the relationship and after all the effort I put in to help him when in the end he didn't even want to stop drinking? Why would he waste my time like this and throw it all back in my face?
Well, maybe he does hurt... This reaction sounds to me like him playing his hand in order to protect himself. You know, like NOT caring about you is getting you back for leaving him. Maybe..... OR, maybe his distance is just his way of dealing with the pain. Afterall, he does still have alcohol to numb out whatever pain he may be feeling.
Personally, I think alcoholics are human and are not above pain. In fact, I think they toil over pain far more than other people and it gets them into trouble being unable or unwilling to actually deal with it.
And I can relate, a little... I did the whole "unofficial" break-up with my xabf just after Christmas and finalized it in the middle of January. Now for me, I didn't go NC simply because he was never nasty to me. That's just my personal boundary. He does get upset, however, and I manage to cut him off and turn off my phone at that point. No sense in trying to make sense of his nonsense, ya know?
Anyway, I wouldn't worry about how he is feeling. You don't need his remorse to validate your pain, because what you are feeling is real anyway. And the truth is that he has many more years of pain to come if he continues to drink. YOU, on the other hand, can begin to heal NOW. Good luck, and keep coming back! This is a good place to vent!