I feel much the same about my second husband. It finally got to where I'd listen to him (always drunk when he made his annual or so phone call) for about 2 minutes, and I'd say, "I have to go, take care of yourself, goodbye." I'm astounded he's still alive. I know how desperately sick he was/is, but there is nothing I could do for him. I visualized putting him in his Higher Power's hands and letting him go.
Thanks for the poignant post. Very familiar.