Old 02-23-2015, 01:42 PM
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lillamy
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Good for you, Karma!!!

Changing the way you disagree is the hardest thing, I swear. While your recovery in practice has taken you from yelling at each other, mine has gone the other direction. My MO was always to walk away and let her yell her fool head off. As if avoiding the conflict was a better solution.

I'm having to learn to actually take the conflict when it arises and deal with it then and there -- or I'm teaching my teen girl treat me the same way her father did: Scream until I walk away. That's not good conflict solution either.

This learning-how-to-break-unproductive patterns thing is one of the greatest gifts of recovery, I think. From whichever way you're breaking them. One thing we have in common with our girls is this, though:
She's a good girl. She knows when she's being a little sh*t.
And the amazing thing when I've started taking on the conflicts instead of walking away is that she's actually starting to acknowledge when she's being a little sh*t.

We don't have many of those 100% days, so I tip my hat to you, friend. You're doing great!!!
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