Hulk, Welcome, and I am sorry that you are here. SR is an awesome place and you will learn a lot. I am glad you are all getting help because you will all need it,to cope with everything going on in your life.
As you know it is not easy being married to an A. They are completely selfish people and everything revolves around them. I am glad that she is "sober" but not drinking and working a program are 2 different things. From what she is doing, I almost can guarantee that she is NOT working a program.
So enough about her, lets talk about you. I know you are over whelmed with what has transpired, more likely in shock!! But you are going to have to deal with your reality. You are asking about how long it will take to move forward. Everyone here is different. Starting back in January 2014, I went to at least 4 meetings a week between alanon and open AA meetings to get up the courage to file. My X never thought I divorce him, as we were together 34 years, (25 married). But I did it, back in October. With the support of the wonderful people here and all the meetings that I could attend, I found the strength.
It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I have good days and bad. I still love my XAH, but I love him from a distance. I was only enabling him to be drunk, and I had had enough of it.
It will take time for it all to settle in. You need to be mentally ready to do what you need to do for you and your kids. You will know when that is. You don't need to make any plans today or tomorrow. Take your time, breath, and take care of you. Keep reading SR and with the little time you have keep getting help at meetings or therapy.
Good luck my friend and keep coming back!!