Originally Posted by
lawrie 
My addict BF finally admitted ALL the wrong doing he's been hiding from me... Lying, cheating, drugs, drinking, etc.. and that's it been going on for around a year. He's very ashamed of himself and embarrassed. Says he doesn't want to become a joke to me. Even said some very hurtful things to me ( I think more out of his insecurities and his shame )
I've just had to go get STD testing, as he recommended it to me due to his behavior. I won't get the results back until next week.
He has deleted all his old drug buddies, and I feel that's a step in the right direction. He says it's best we just remain friends for now (and as hard as that is to hear, I know deep down it's the truth). Said that he was going to ask me to marry him before he got hooked again, because to be honest, I thought he didn't even care about me ( and I know they can't care while using ). He was clean and had been for awhile when we met.
He's suicidal right now, full of self hate, self harm (choking himself, etc)... Admit that he has been using meth, and that's something he's never done in the past... Says he's trying to get better, but I'm scared. Just pray for him, because that's all I know to do anymore.
I don't know if this is a step forward or back for him?
Lawrie,
I think its a positive step for him to come to terms with his drug use, and behaviors. And I think as hard as it is, the plan u have in place is probably best for right now. Give him some time to figure out what caused him to begin using again, and what he can do to improve his own life, stop using, become healthier. There are many options these days for treatment and many ways to change up his life and create new healthy habits. Staying away from the drug friends is a great start. I will pray for him, and also send you some comfort too.
I had to be tested for stds too, when my husband was using coke. It was an embarassing and scary thing so I understand. But its best to check and make sure your ok, so I do respect him for being honest with you and encouraging this as hard as I know it is. Im gonna pray your ok too. Mine came out fine, but I worried while I waited. I think its unavoidable.