I'm hurt, but somewhat relieved with somethings. I'm embarrassed that I had to go get testing (so embarrassed that I drove to a ER away from where I live). I'm worried I have something awful.
He says he doesn't deserve me, and he's right... I think what happens next to if I keep this person in my life at all is based on his commitment to recovering, and I should keep some distance for now and *try* (as hard as it will be) to focus on myself. I know I can't make him do anything, and it's pointless to worry (but still I will).. It's like he said, he's not the same person I met.