Originally Posted by
auroraxborealis 
Me, too.
Aurora...
Mind you, I'm not trying to be harsh towards you.
I have nieces and nephews that are probably your age or a bit younger. When I see someone such as yourself struggling with what you're struggling with, what I ask myself is if it were my nieces and nephews going through this, what would I tell them? And when I frame the question within that context, my protective instinct kicks in.
You've suffered enough. There is so much out there for you, and I don't think you're fully aware of what opportunities you have. If you were, your AXBF and the hold he has on you would be much less powerful.
Doesn't mean you don't love him, or you won't always love him. But what it does mean is instead of him taking up a full book in the course of your life, he'll only take up a chapter.
This is a roundabout way of saying I care about what happens to you. Be grateful for the gifts you have, take advantage of those gifts, and live your life.