What am I going to do differently is the million dollar question! I don't know... I'm going to have to give that one some thought.
I was feeling really cooped up... Like I wasn't finding much pleasure in my life.... go to work come home, take care of everyone, watch tv, rinse and repeat. It was that old thinking that I could control it, just have a few. It's crazy because I KNOW that I can't just have a few. I think I kept talking and thinking about getting out and finding new activities to distract myself and replace the old behaviors but I never actually did anything about it. I should of gone to the gym after work. I should of listened to my boyfriend who told me it was a bad idea. I should of logged on here. I should of even gone to that secular AA meeting I found that happens on a Friday night. But I made my decision. I remember hearing someone say once that nothing will ruin a drinking career better that a long period of sobriety... I kept thinking about that yesterday while my head throbbed and I was filled with remorse. I really did learn a valuable lesson... maybe I needed to remind myself of how bad it was and why I had given it up.