Have you ever read Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More"? It really is a terrific book. One of the things that I learned from it is the concept of "detaching with love". I really struggled with feelings of guilt about withdrawing from people I loved who were on a destructive path, and it was such a relief to me to know that I could set boundaries in a loving way. Somehow I always felt that letting someone know that I had to limit or end my contact with them because the relationship was causing me pain meant that I would be getting upset/angry with them, which then made me feel guilty and kept me stuck. But I realized that it was possible to tell someone "I need to protect myself from the choices you're making" while maintaining a loving attitude toward them.