I remember when I was first married I would project a lot of crazy on to my husband. My mother turned everything into a giant, thought out conspiracy, so I would always accuse my husband of outlandish things when almost always there were valid, simple reasons for the things that he said and did. One time he said to me, "I am sorry, DD, but I don't think that way," when I accused him of some silly passive aggressive move I thought that he had done. My mother has always been the biggest black hole of need in my orbit. I never wanted to be that to anyone in my life so when I start to experience myself in ultra-needy mode, I take a few steps back, do not react on anything until a good, long cool-down period and almost always, whatever I thought was monumental proves to be no big deal at all!