Hi GS. I am sorry for what your parents went through. I had a woman who worked for me for 4 years who was like a mother to me. I ended up handing her the reins on a lot of things because I trusted her. She took advantage of my kindness, stole from me, it went on for years before I figured out what was happening. I thought I was losing my mind. It has taken years for me to get over that hurt.
I don't think being newly sober is the time to bring up issues that are emotionally hot for us. I am not AA but I know there is a saying "first things first". There is no way I was ready to unearth all of my issues at the get go, I was simply learning how to get up and function without a major crutch. People may be well intentioned but please don't entangle your sobriety with trying to live up to a checklist that other people are telling you is necessary.
I went back and read your posts. You had a great head of steam going. But we are all very fragile in the early days. I hope you reread your old threads…there was something pretty special happening. If there is one thing I think is important in early sobriety it is surrounding oneself with others who are in sync and supportive. If someone makes you feel discouraged or criticized, move on. There are no musts or shoulds, just don't drink. You have all the time in the world to fine tune your sobriety once you feel steadier.
It took me years to process the outrage I felt that someone who I had hired as a right hand could smile to my face while stabbing me in the back. But in retrospect, I realize that I have actually been lucky. I have had a lot of employees over the years who were honest and decent. The reason this woman hurt me so much was because I didn't really understand that people like that existed before my experience. But, I need time and distance to move beyond that craziness, there is no timeline for how any of us process hurt.
SR is great because it gives you a venue to communicate with a wide audience of AA people if that is the road you choose. The more time you spend on here you will begin to find posters who really walk the walk. There is a lot of kindness, support and understanding. And perhaps you can take the experience that didn't work for you and be on the lookout for other newcomers who might feel frustrated as you did. I asked for advice here about a therapist who I was using, I needed a wider perspective and the support I received here helped me make a decision that empowered me. Read around here, there are some great AA people.
The only authority on your sobriety is you. When you are ready there are a lot of us here who have lived through the f-its. I know what a grim place it is to know you have a problem and continue to drink anyway. I hope you don't wait a few months, and I hope you take advantage of the great place SR is.
PS: I must have posted at the same time as End Game…he is one of the great AA people I was talking about..
