I don't know that it does any good or is healthy to express all the anxiety to our spouses. If they haven't grown up with alcoholism and its problems they have no way of really understanding the affect it has on us. Best to find like-minded groups or therapists to unload on. Working through these feelings rationally, piece by piece with my higher power was my key. I found that I was depending too much on a mere human being to fulfill my needs and understand me. That's a great burden to place on a person.