you know, GS, it IS so much easier to just not care and drink.
not always, but often.
in moments.
overall, i found it very painful to see i didn't care enough lots of the time.
and to find that quitting and staying quit were tougher than i thought it would be.
and to find that caring didn't guarantee success at quitting.
but the whole drinking/quitting thing was ultimately much more torturous than being quit.
and you can't know that until you do it.
the fantasies i had about how it might be aren't reality.
but finally, it's reality i wanted. with me in it, and me being real. no matter how that is.
tired of the easier way which was so damn hard!